Check hier al onze Vegasbelevenissen!
Ziek!Ziek!Ja hoor, zijn we op vakantie en wie wordt er weer ziek? Juist, ik zei de gek en ook nog zo ziek als een hond of liever gezegd als een peerd, geconstipeerd! Geloof me, lieve mensen, verstopping gepaard met hoge koorts is geen kinnesinne. Maar goed het, in de supermarkt, gescoorde laxeermiddel heeft zijn werk goed gedaan en na anderhalve dag bedlegerig te zijn geweest gaat het nu wel weer en liggen we heerlijk mensen te kijken aan het zwembad.Inmiddels hebben Rosa, Jasper en ik de fonteinshow van het Bellagio bekeken die was waanzinnig mooi en gelikt en de vulkaanuitbarsting bij het Mirage was ook gaaf. Een overdaad aan vlammen, water, licht en vuur zorgt altijd voor een hoog ooh- en aahgehalte. Op dit moment knallen trouwens de beastie boys uit de speakers bij het zwembad en besef ik "life is good".Weten jullie wat ook good is? Voordat ik zo beroerd werd, heb ik mijn derde pokertoernooitje in Vegas gespeeld en wederom zat ik in het geld! 160$ voor de derde plek. De stand is nu dus drie keer gespeeld, twee keer betaald gekregen. Een prima resultaat waardoor Rosa en ik een paar dagen boven budget hebben kunnen leven, living the dream baby! Hoe Jasper het doet moet hij jullie zelf maar vertellen want ik ben geen verrader. We hebben vandaag ook afscheid genomen van onze vrienden die op wereldreis zijn. Zij vliegen straks naar China, het was leuk om ze te zien en hun ervaringen te horen. Het is in ieder geval een hele onderneming zo'n wereldreis.Het is hier bij het zwembad een graadje of 35 in de schaduw en het lijkt wel alsof de vrouwelijke borstpartijen en de mannelijke ego's steeds groter worden opgeblazen dus ik ga maar eens stoppen om dat te bekijken en wetenschappelijk te analyseren. Ik heb hier wel al 1 heldin, het is hier bloedheet en er loopt een vrouw volledig gekleed en voor een groot gedeelte nog in het zwart ook, ik begin er spontaan zelf van te zweten.Maar goed mensen, ik taai af maar niet zonder mijn zonnebril omgekeerd en achterstevoren op mijn achterhoofd te zetten, want dat is blijkbaar stoer. En onthoud; It's no vacation with dehydration.
Min cash!Zo, de eerste mincash is binnen! Een 3way chop voor 140$. die kan Steve-o in zijn zak steken, natuurlijk krijgt Jasper de 25% die we voor ieder toernooitje hebben afgesproken. Eigenlijk ben ik de tafel vanaf het begin aardig aan het aanstampen in dit 40$, 1 rebuy,1 add on toernooi hier in ons hotel. Vrij snel ben ik chipleader en ik neem de juiste beslissingen en verdien daar wat respect mee aan, wederom, een tafel van niet zo'n hoog niveau. Alleen nummer 1&2 zitten in het geld en het gaat voortvarend, ik kukel er drie mensen uit en denk me dan rustig richting de laatste 2 te spelen. Wanneer we nog met 6 spelers zitten is er een irritante speler die om een 6way chop te zeuren... daarna om een 5way chop maar mijn antwoord blijft nee en daarna kukel ik hem er ook uit. Ik verstevig mijn chiplead bij de laatste vier en dan gebeurt er iets vervelends, under the gun schuift zijn laatste 9000 chips naar voren, iedereen foldt en ik vind AQs in de big blind en snapcall. Utg draait AJ om... De flop is KKQ, de turn een blank en de river uiteraard... Een 10 zodat hij zijn straight maakt, dag chiplead. Ik heb ineens nog maar 3 big blinds over en we zitten nog met zijn vieren!! Gelukkig vliegt nummer 4 er vlug uit. Dan gebeurt er echt iets heel aparts. De gast die mij net een zure beat gaf, stelt een 3way chop voor, ik heb nog 3(!) big blinds over dus ben benieuwd hoeveel hij mij wil bieden. Hij heeft vier keer mijn stack en de ander ruim twee keer. De ander zegt meteen ja en vraagt of we dan precies eenderde deel ieder krijgen en de nieuwe chipleader zegt: sure. Ik ben de lachende derde want ondanks dat ik de betere speler van de drie ben heb ik eigenlijk nergens recht op en nu steek ik een coole 140$ in de pocket. De eerste mincash is een feit en ik... Ik ga steeds meer van Vegas houden!
Vegas baby! Dag 1Daar zijn we dan, bestemming bereikt: Las Vegas! Na een reis tijd van dertien uur(!) zijn we er, het duurt even maar dan heb je ook wat. We landen om Half 8 's avonds en de temperatuur is een gezapige 25 graden. Door de douane komen hier is wat lastig en het woord vriendelijk is niet besteedt aan onze geuniformeerde "vrienden".... maar goed we zijn in een ander land dus maar even rustig blijven en ja en amen zeggen, dat amen zeggen waarderen ze hier sowieso in sin city. Nu naar de taxi en hop naar het hotel. De vakantie is begonnen!
De taxichauffeur babbelt er vrolijk op los met Rosa en ik betrap mezelf erop dat ik denk: dude, shut up! Blijkbaar ben ik na zo'n lange reis niet meer de lieve en charmante Steve-o die jullie kennen. Nadat we in gecheckt en opgefrist zijn ontmoeten we twee vrienden die vanaf januari op wereldreis zijn en die op dit moment in de USA zijn. Superleuk om ze na een half jaar weer te zien. We eten en drinken samen en gaan dan een rondje casino doen.
Warm een uur later (want het is inmiddels middernacht nog steeds 25 graden) zitten Jasper en ik aan ons eerste toernooitje, een $30 re-entry. We komen er al redelijk snel achter dat het niveau niet "je van het" is maar toch staan we alebei na iets meer dan een uur aan de rail. Ik liep met snowmen (88) tegen KJ aan en een K stak zijn gekroonde kop meteen op de flop op, alas peanutbutter. Jaspers exit was nog zuurder dan een in azijn gedoopte citroen. Nadat hij allin is gegaan op de flop met top pair, koning kicker wordt hij gecalled door een rasidioot met boer hoog! Jasper hit op de turn nog een koning voor top two maar.... de rasidioot zou geen rasidioot zijn wanneer hij niet op de river zijn vierde klaver op het board hit voor een flush. Uiteindelijk is het 3 uur als we gaan slapen en vallen Rosa en ik met een glimlach op ons gezicht in slaap met keiharde house muziek op de achtergrond. Anyway Las Vegas bedankt voor een enerverende eerste avond, we're happy to be here.
Note van Jasper: ondanks de zeer zware controle van Steve zou het kunnen zijn dat er spelfouten staan in dit blog, my honest apologies in advance (een blog typen op een iPad is zwaarder dan het lijkt)
Go shorty it was my birthday , so go shorty…
Yay! It was that time of the year yesterday, 21st of July, was my birthday.I am happy, yes happy, to say that I turned 18 for the second time around.It is great, whenever I see a girl that has a boyfriend that’s 18, I can tell her; hey girl, you can have TWICE as much fun with me…man it’s good to be young again.
Having your birthday party is always cool, you get presents, cards, e-mails and text messages from your friends and relatives.
This years best b’day text message was from my dear friend K. she texted me: Happy b’day sweet Stormy (which is derived from my nickname Quiet Storm) anyway she texted me: Happy b’day sweet Stormy, old but horny as ever! She doesn’t text me as much but when she does their sweet like this one.
What’s mostly not so cool is the suffering the day after your b’day party which is today, whilst writing this piece. I started partying the 21st at 2.00 am and didn’t stop, nor sleep, till the 22nd at 6.00 am. I was awake for almost 48 hours (without any help from drugs or whatever) and yes, honestly, I am paying for it now….guess I am not as 18 as I thought I was. Man, I vividly remember those days that I could party like a rock star, I could go on for days and then still go to work and have a work day without any problems, now, unfortunately those days are over…yes peeps I officially feel like shite and look like it too…blood shot eyes and red stains of tiredness . I’ll look hot in a day or two again! Man, did I tell you I am suffering?..Good, cause I am..the letters seem to bounce all over my screen right now and the thought of having to go to work in an hour doesn’t help either.
Well to finish of, I had two really cool days the past two days and that was actually what I needed, it all fits in the plan of getting myself back on track I had great times with some of my best friends and had the unexpected factor happening in there too. Again, I promise to right in this blog more often…even if you’re not interested. I hope that the elevator called happiness in Steve-o’s life will slowly reach the top floor and stay there for ever. Oh I just found out that one of my friends is pregnant, I’m happy for her and him and also jealous cause I would sooo love to have another kid, a little brother or sister for Robyn ( I know she would just love it).
Okay peeps, stay safe and stay tuned as I take a break from alcohol for at least a week…
PS. Confuse-ius says: Dipping your pen in company ink is okay as long as you make sure you don’t run out of ink!
Wedding bells, wedding bells, the sweet sound of wedding bells…On the 6th of May, my close friends Jordan and Martijn got married.
I met Jordan, she’s a very pretty New York classical beauty, at Boom Chicago where she became my assistant. I met Martijn through Jordan and he is a swell guy even though he supports the wrong soccer team. They got married in Gent, Belgium, and it was a weekend to remember! They asked an other close friend, Drew, and myself to be MC at the wedding reception and to read them their vows. Drew in English, cause he is an American, for Jordan and me in Dutch, cause I am a Dutchie, for Martijn.
I want to share with you the little story I read to them on the wedding reception cause I got big props for it and I’m actually proud that it went down so well. I’m sure the reason was because it really, really came from my heart. I’ll post it both in English and in Dutch . The original was in Dutch.
Sometimes, just sometimes….
Sometimes, just sometimes, I see two people of which I think “ they belong together”.
Sometimes, just sometimes, those are people that contribute something to my live, people like Jordan and Martijn.
People that are sometimes, just sometimes, so different from each other that they become so much alike.
Martijn listens to Biggie and Jordan listens to Billy Idol and Sometimes, just sometimes, that is not even that weird.
Isn’t it sometimes, just sometimes, inevitable that the inevitable must happen? Today the inevitable is happening, Jordan and Martijn are getting married!
How sweet can the words YES, I DO sound from two people that fit together so much, two people that I share and have shared a lot with…
Sometimes, just sometimes, getting drunk with Jordan and talking about everybody after a long night of hard work at Boom Chicago and sometimes, just sometimes, downloading “nature” documentaries from the internet with Martijn while Jordan was already sleeping.
How beautiful it is to have friends like that. How beautiful it is to be a part of one of the most important decisions in their lives.
Sometimes, just sometimes, life is beautiful, today is such a sometimes, just sometimes, day….
Sometimes, just sometimes, it isn’t so bad to look at 5 best men in PINK shirts and sometimes, just sometimes, you’re allowed to lie about that.
Sometimes, just sometimes, my speeches are senseless but that doesn’t really matter on a day like today.
Sometimes, just sometimes, I say sometimes, just sometimes, a bit too often, but today I say always, for ever, Jordan and Martijn for ever.
After this, Drew had a beautiful speech and we ended up reciting an Native American blessing and a traditional breaking of glass with a mazzeltoff. Now the sometimes speech in Dutch..
Soms, heel soms….
Soms, heel soms, zie ik twee mensen waarvan ik denk…die horen bij elkaar.
Soms, heel soms, zijn dat mensen die iets toevoegen aan mijn leven, mensen als jordan en Martijn.
Mensen die soms, heel soms, zo anders zijn dat ze weer het zelfde zijn.
Hij luistert naar Biggie en zij naar Billy Idol en soms, heel soms, is dat niet eens zo vreemd.
Is het niet soms, heel soms, onvermijdelijk dat het onvermijdelijke gebeurd? Vandaag gaat het onvermijdeljike gebeuren, Jordan en Martijn gaan trouwen. Hoe zoet kan het JA-WOORD klinken van twee mensen die zo bij elkaar passen, twee mensen waar ik veel mee deel en mee heb gedeeld.....
Soms, heel soms, dronken worden met jordan en dan over iedereen praten na een dag hard werken bij Boom chicago en soms, heel soms, “natuur” documentaires downloaden met Martijn terwijl jordan al ligt te slapen.
Wat is het toch mooi om zulke vrienden te hebben, wat is het toch mooi om deel uit te maken van een van de grootste beslissingen van hun leven.
Soms, heel soms, is het leven mooi........vandaag is zo’n soms, heel soms, dag.
Soms, heel soms, is het niet erg om naar vijf mannen in een ROZE shirt te kijken en soms, heel soms, mag je daar best over jokken.
Soms, heel soms, gaan mijn speeches nergens over, maar dat maakt op een dag als vandaag niets uit.
Soms, heel soms, zeg ik net iets te vaak soms, heel soms.
Maar vandaag zeg ik...altijd, voor altijd, Jordan en Martijn voor altijd.
Well, that was in Dutch cause I think it has more impact in my native language.
Anyway, I wish Jordan and Martijn all the happiness in the world and that we may stay friends for ever! I love you guys!
Also a big up and thank you to my good friend Drew, I wouldn’t have done it without you, thanks to my parents and Jesus who are all in heaven, thanks to……
Before this starts to look like the Grammies, I’m out!
PS: Any woman out there wanna marry me? I’ll buy you a can of soda….
Our national three color…Wow, I feel ashamed! Terribly ashamed! One of my colleagues, a proud Egyptian with a lot of knowledge on his countries history, asked me…What do the three colors in the Dutch flag/ banner stand for? He caught me by surprise and I stuttered an insecure, yet wonderfully improvised, answer; “ Uuuuhm, Red stands for the blood that we spilled trying to conquer the world, White stands for the cocaine that is massively snorted here in Holland and Blue stands for smurfs, yes for smurfs…why? Just because I say so!
All of the above could be very much true but frankly my dears, I haven’t got a clue what the colors in our flag stand for. I’m sure they taught me in school but I seriously can’t remember, I hope it is not the first sign of… how do you call that decease again, where you start to forget stuff?.. Alzberger’s or something like that.
Do I really care what does colors stand for? Nope, even though it is the kind of trivia that you score points with. History has just always lacked my interest, it doesn’t do anything for me. A wise man once said;” you can’t see the future if you don’t know your past” but the future will be….and maybe if I see it I wouldn’t want to stick around to live it. No, to me the past is the past and the future has to remain a surprise that’s how I feel about it and the rest is history! Anyway, just for the sake of knowing the answer when somebody else asks me what our “tri colore” stands for I will search the internet for the answer and I suggest you do the same! It wouldn’t surprise me if it had something to do with smurfs on cocaine spilling blood while conquering the world… or is that the French flag?
Well, Amro (my colleague) this one dedicated to you and thank you for explaining the colors of your countries flag to me but guess what…..I seriously forgot again!
Nobody cares about my story, so why care about HIStory.
OOH I’M STILL ALIVE….
Man it feels like months ago since I posted something on this blog…ooh wait a minute, it has been months! Well, not to the joy of everyone, I am still alive! I have just been incredibly busy with stuff and sorting out my life. Remember that new job I had at KFC? Yes? That only lasted 3 (!) weeks, man, does that place suck. It is like a prison camp where you get brainwashed, it just wasn’t for me. I, who hardly ever gets angry, had reached my boiling point within 3 weeks and had even reached the point where I almost stuck somebody’s hand in the frying pan (not really, but still) and called him something really bad which I won’t repeat here. Anyway, I actually have a really cool job now and the best thing is that it is only 4 days a week, okay the salary isn’t that good but hey…let me get my life back together first and then we’ll see what we can do about that. As I said it is a cool job and I can see myself working there a year or two. Where you work, Steve-O, you ask? I work in the Lloyd hotel in
You might have noticed that I wrote that I need to get my life together and seriously… I DO have to get my life together. The last 10-11 months have been really tough on the Steve-O. I refrain from details but it has been very harsh and I am suffering and paying for it now. I learnt a valuable lesson though, if you live like a big shot you better be a f*cking big shot! In these last couple of months it feels like somebody has been messing with my karma (stop it now, I have gotten the point!) cause Murphy really laid his law on me, if it could go wrong …it did! Well, I said I would refrain from details but here’s a quick summary what happened in these last 10-11 months: met a girl, broke her heart, met a another girl, broke MY heart, quit my job without finding a new one first, got f*cked over by the Dutch social security plan, maxed out my credit card, created a shit load of debts, had a pretty serious foot injury which kept me from running for half a year and I am still not back to par and I gained like frikkin’ 5 kilos, had a couple of arguments with really good friends, people have been assholes towards me and I have been an asshole towards other people (more than I normally do), lost both my phone connections, had a creative block, am financially a mess…IF you have time I could continue for a couple of pages! Aaaaw, the sweet scent of self pity, I LOVE it!
Even though this is, all in all, a shitty situation, I see light at the end of the tunnel, hopefully it’s not Saint Peter welcoming me to heaven (Yeah, as if that’s the place where I’ll end up…I think not, Steve-O). Seriously, I feel like everything will work out in the end and that from this point things will only get better! Of course some good things happened in the near past…I have found a new fun job, I have read 2 (!) good books, I got to know my friends better and became even better friends with some of them, I have performed and still am performing improv a lot in both Dutch and English and it looks like it is going somewhere, I have re-found the joy of chatting on the internet and through that have met interesting people, I have people that are trying to help me getting my life sorted, my best friend (read: more than a brother!) told me he IS staying in the Netherlands and not moving to Norway (no way!) and last but absolutely not least…. I spent more time with my daughter, Robyn, who is great and beautiful and intelligent and becoming a wise brat and pulls me through a lot of stuff and …IF you have time I could go on about my daughter a coupe of pages.
Anyway, I can feel it, Steve-O is on his way back to the good life! No, I am not a big shot but I am not a loser either! Things will rock and roll again soon because they always do.
OOOH I, I’m still alive , you silly rabbits…I AM STILL ALIVE!
Love most of you!
PS: nothing about my love life this time cause it is non existent for the last couple of months….aaaw, the sweet scent of self pity, I’m LOVING it!
Knocking boots at Brokeback mountain...
I saw Ang Lee's Brokeback mountain recently, what a great movie. Ang Lee movies are always great, except The incredible Hulk which is one of the most terrible movies ever made but let me call that his accidental f*ck up..
I went to see this movie with a really beautiful girl and when she suggested to see Brokeback mountain, I immediately said: Yes! I mean how cool and romantic is it to see a gay semi-soft porn gay, cowbi (Bi-sexual cowboys) movie together with a beautiful girl?
Anyway, before I saw Brokeback mountain I had a certain opinion on Bi-sexual men, afterwards I thought...well it is not my cup of tea but if it makes them happy....good for them!
This movie made me realize that it is much easier to be a straight cowboy, like me, then to be cowbi ,like Ennis and Jack in the movie. In the macho world they live in it is just not done and downright nasty for two guys to go beyond a friendly pet on the back, or in their case in the back. And honestly, when I look at the macho(?) world we live in now, it is still a taboo for guys to be Bi-sexual, however most guys find it extremely cool when girls tell us they are Bi-sexual. This left me to wonder if girls think it is cool when guys are Bi-sexual. A quick survey under some of my female friends, some with Bi-sexual experiences, learnt me that the answer was: NO!, not cool at all...if a guy is bi (that rhymes) he is actually gay (their opinion). So I asked them: How about girls being Bi-sexual then? Some of them replied; Ooh but that is just for fun, Steve-o, you know something different than the ordinary "slap and tickle" but two men...no that's nasty. Some of the girls wisely didn't answer the second question and one of the girls said the line was cracking up but she would definitely call me back to talk a little more on this topic...I'm still waiting.
An even quicker survey amongst some of my , gay homosexual, male friends, quicker because I just don't have that many gay friends (or do I?) learnt me that they also think that it is absolutely NOT cool for guys to be bi. One of my friends replied: Bi-sexual guys? That are just men that are sick of eating sushi all the time and are craving for a hot dog every now and then...they are a disgrace for manhood (his opinion). So I asked him: How about girls being Bi-sexual? His reply; Ooh honey..you are so naïve! Of course that is considered normal...have you ever seen a woman's body? If I was a girl I would want to play with that too!
So here it is peeps! I saw a movie that changed my view on Bi-sexual men and I found out that the majority of people, in the world that I live in, think that being Bi for a girl is cool but being Bi for a guy is absolutely not! But you know what, I'm not gonna change my mind again. I'm standing with the fact that I now think it is totally cool for guys to become, or to be, cowbi. They will never break my back or take me out "fishing" for trout (see the movie, you'll find out what I mean) but I say it is okay if you're a Bi-guy!
Bi-Bi for now! Go to your local toy store, see if they sell B.I.-Joe "action" figures!
FOR ALL THE GIRLS.....
For those who are not tired of hearing, or in this case reading, about it...
I love women, I mean I really, really adore them in the biggest sense of the word!I respect them and think women are the most beautiful gift from God or evolution, what ever you believe in, to men or other women. Acknowledged; some gifts are better gifts than others but hey...everybody likes getting gifts, right? I have been in the fortunate position of receiving a fair amount of gifts, gifts from all over the world. I know I am not the best looking guy, not even close, ( I said I KNOW, already!) so I consider myself extremely lucky that God or evolution, what ever you believe in, has treated me very kind, even though I am single right now and it's about frikkin' time that I get that special gift to last me a lifetime! Hmm, y'know what...to prove my respect towards women, I will stop calling them gifts as of now cause I, all of a sudden, realize how stupid and maybe even ‘ Sans respect' this could sound, though I mean it in the most loveable way possible.
Anyway, what intrigues me is the difference in dating women from different continents and everything around it, including the eventual relationship. Women/ girls if you have similar experiences, with men or women, please let me know, I would love to hear your take on this too. I just want to share a couple of my experiences with you.
I have dated Dutch girls and most of them said they were not into dating or bluntly that they don't date, it's a cliché but so far it has been always true to me. Yet they love it when you take them out to a restaurant or show or movie...as my friends at boom Chicago say...ladies, that is considered a date! The Dutch girls I have dated were always independent and very engaged with the things that were happening in the world at that moment. They were also very liberal and open minded and not afraid to involve me in their group of friends and to be involved in mine. Most of the time it didn't take long before they moved in with me or I moved in with them. Ooh and they love to party, Dutch girls loooove to party. Again, these were the girls I dated, it is not guaranteed that all Dutch girls are like this.
I have dated a girl from Venezuela, this was only for a short while so I don't have a lot to talk about here, except that the majority of women in Venezuela is extremely beautiful...like all of you women reading this by the way. What struck me the most is when I met her, in Venezuela, the second line she said to me, in Spanish, was: I am not a prostitute, mind you...I didn't offer her money, I wasn't rude, I didn't call her a prostitute and I didn't approach her with sex on my mind. I guess my fellow men have ruined it by going to Venezuela with the intention of having paid sex (shame on you "gentlemen"). Ooh our ‘relationship' had to be secret and kept hidden from Venezuelans because I was considered a gringo. She was, probably still is, proud, very intelligent and sweet and fortunately for me liked older men, like me. She was also very religious, as most Venezuelans are and that was a little bit too much for me. This Venezuelan girl liked macho men that could protect her and take care of her but could also take her to church, had a great sense of fashion, loved to be called sweet nothings and was addicted to calling me ‘papi', which freaked me out every now and then (it's normal for Latinas to call their boyfriend ‘papi'). Again, this was a girl I dated, it is not guaranteed that all Venezuelan girls are like this.
I have dated a girl form Thailand, yes... a GIRL from Thailand. The first date we ever went on was straight to her house (read on before you cheer!)...uhm, let me rephrase that...to her mom's house to be introduced to the entire family here in Amsterdam. After being fed extremely well her mom asked me how "serious" I was with her daughter and how I saw the future...for crying out loud, I was 17 years old, how frikkin' serious are you when you're 17? And future schmuture...I didn't bring my glass ball so I couldn't see the future and I still can't. I do see that girl every now and then walking by, she has two kids, a husband and looks extremely well fed and happy and that makes me happy. Again, this was a girl I dated, it is not guaranteed that all Thai girls are like this.
I have dated American women, I can't really explain why, but these are my old time favorites so far...If any of them out there is reading this...this is not about you but about other American girls that I coincidentally also dated. I just love American women. There is one thing that I noticed with some of the USA-ers I have dated though, the majority of them told me, after making out with me, that they "normally" don't make out or go beyond on their first date. Why is this? Is there a book or something that states; tell a guy you don't make out on the first date, so you make him feel special when you do? I mean if a woman wants to make out on the first date that's fine...if she doesn't that's fine too (sometimes even better)! I think that the American women I dated are all extremely sexy and attractive, independent and what is even more important, they're funny! They have a great sense of humor and wit and that's what I love most in a woman. On the down side, they wanted me to have everything arranged, I mean status and career wise. I'm over 30 which meant for some of them that; I had to own a house and keep it tidy, grow up, be an adult, have no debts, have a career and live according to their standards. All the things that are sooo not me e.g. I live in a crappy rental place that is always messy, I live by the principal that the day I'll grow up is the day I die, I don't really know what adult means, have a shit load of debts, I don't have a car but do have a rear and the standards thing...don't even bother. Again, these were girls I dated, it is not guaranteed that all American girls are like this.
Wow, when I started to type this post it became longer then I intended! It also made me realize how much women added to my life and made me the man (read: boy) I am today! So ladies, this goes out to you, to all the girls I loved before, who traveled in and out my door, I dedicate this post....I'm glad they came along...all the girls I loved before!
Excuse me, I have to go and bust some freestyle "wrapping" hopefully there's a gift (oops I did it again) awaiting.
All HAIL Dick!
Really people, how re'dick'ulous is this?
You go quail hunting, which is kinda sick anyway, with your friend and as a thank you; you get shot in the face! okay, okay...your friend is a way easier target, quails are small and fast, your friend is 78 and over 6ft...you do the math. Yay, mister Vice President of the USA! Somewhere in the back of my mind I know this has something to do with the war on terrorism but I can't prove it so I'll just let that theory go.
Mind you, peeps, I've done some terrible things to my friends, that's what friends are for, right? But I never ever shot one of them in the face...unless they wanted it and then it would definitely not be with hail. I mean I have wrecked a friend's bike, racing it, while intoxicated, I've ruined a friend's pants by pushing him off a train deck onto the tracks while he was in a wheelchair and we were both drunk and he wasn't even disabled, I have ruined a friend's (white!) carpet during her house warming party again while being wasted, I made out with a girl, that a friend was clearly hitting on, while I was inebriated, I fell through a friend's living room window trying to perform a re'dick'ulous stunt, again piss drunk off my head. The list could go on and on but you would all think that I am either an alcoholic or a total goofball. (Don't get me wrong though, I've done some pretty good things to my friends too, that list might even be longer than the terrible things list). But see, people, all these little "accidents" tend to happen when you're in a certain state (read: drunk). So I wonder if mister vice president actually might have had a couple too many?...I guess we'll never find out cause they'll cover it up with revealing an other scandal.
Anyway, that's it for me right now...does anyone want to go out for a drink?
Don't drink and hunt, people!
Starbucks, something that made me see that some things in the States are admirable.
I had been waiting at the Starbucks counter for at least 5 minutes when it occurred to me that the girls that were supposed to help me were chatting in the back, not noticing me at all which is odd cause everybody notices me…all the time. I decided to slowly walk up to them and order my coffee. I hung over the counter, folded my hands together, pouted like only I can and said: uhmum, ladies could I order a cappuccino-frappuccino-triplino-decafino latte? The girls were surprised and started blushing out of shame, the head barista (coffee maker) apologized a million times, made my coffee and gave it to me for free. She said; I’m really sorry that we didn’t notice you, sir (!) this one is on the house, I’m really, really sorry! Now how awesome, not to mention super-polite, is that people?
Americans are very apologizing people any way, Excuse me for sneezing, excuse me for coughing, excuse me for not holding the elevator for you, excuse me for our president, excuse me for….you get the picture, it almost make me feel sorry for them saying sorry for stuff so much.
You know, I enjoy going to the States for vacation, I go at least once every year. America is a beautiful country with, indeed, big big contrasts. You’ll see really pretty petite girls in , insert brand-name, clothes driving shiny brand new cars on one side and not so fortunate, just as pretty not so petite girls on the other side, I love it!
I won’t get started about the, clearly visible, gap between the rich and the poor.
When I wrote this I was sitting at a Starbucks in Newark, an, as I call it, student town…a rich student town. A, probably, 16 year old girl walks in, one like I mentioned before, too expensive clothes, Ugs (ugly) booths and surrounded by an attitude that screams: I know it all…well, reality check, chickie…the only reality you saw was in the mirror this morning and believe me it is not that special, dumb ass!
Me, jealous? Hell yeah, you can ring that buzzer again!
Talking about buzzers, where else in the world do you get a buzzer, in a extremely busy and buzzing restaurant, to take with you so the wait staff can buzz you when they have a table available for you? And where else in the world does a “business opportunity” immediately pops up in your head and you can see yourself starting a black market trade in these buzzers? Picture this; a stressed out business man, with very important overseas clients, comes running into the busy restaurant, sees an immense queue and at that magical moment your buzzer starts buzzing, hey dude…you can have my buzzer and be seated right now, with your very important overseas clients, and all it will cost you is a 100$. Ka-tsjing ka-tsjing! Easy money! Aah, America, land of opportunity. I love it!
It’s 12.30 in the afternoon now and the Starbucks is packing. A J.R. Ewing clone, with cowboy hat and suitcase, just walked in acting like he owns the place, how weird.
Me, Jealous? You can bet your South fork ranch on that. If you would do that here in Amsterdam you would be laughed at and be called names that would be “beeped” on American television! God knows that if that wouldn’t be the case I would dress like that, walk into the Mc Donalds on Leidseplein and order myself a super-sized Happy meal, yippee ay yeah, cowboys and –girls!
I totally finished my cappuccino-frappuccino-triplino-decafino latte an hour ago but nobody seems to bother, no waiter that asks me if I’m okay or if I need another drink and, if not, slams me with the bill…anyway what am I nagging, I got this coffee for free.
Starbucks rules people! They have the best coffee in the entire USA, they play their own Starbucks CD ,they let you do your thing and they have wise quotes of famous, and not so famous, people on there cups. Starbucks rules!
Looking around I see at least ten people writing just as profusely as me, are they writing their take on stuff like I am? Or are they doing their homework that they should have done during the weekend? Who can tell? I see the J.R Ewing clone sip on his almond espresso and flirting with one of the girls behind the counter, she DOES notice him, playa-playa grandpa in the hizzle! I see a mother, in a U2 T-shirt, thanking her, armed with a laptop and a PDA, hot-shot son for the tickets to the U2 concert that is happening in Newark that night. He must have bummed the tickets from one of his business relations, that stuck up yuppie! Like, is there another way to thank your mom for raising you and supporting you and making sure you could grow up to be the filthy rich executive at Microsoft you are today then by giving her an overprized ticket to a has been band? I think not! Only in America people! America, America land of the brave…
If I’m jealous? Hell yeah!! Bring me another cappuccino-frappuccino-triplino-decafino latte or whatevah, get me a cowboy hat, a cute -way too young for me- 20 year old girl and tickets to a U2 concert, I’m coming back next year cause USA you’re finger lickin’ good!
Since a couple of months I am unemployed. I had a fun job, as a manager, in the biggest improv comedy theater in Amsterdam. The theater and I were happily married for four (4) years, but like every good marriage it came to an end. We agreed to stay friends and we are both really satisfied with this. Anyway, all this leads to that, of course, I am know looking for a new j.o.b., something that is easier said than done. I can honestly say that I have a sh*tload of managerial experience and have managed pretty big restaurants and bars, with a lot of staff under me (get your mind out of the gutter!). Lately I have had quite a lot of interviews in big and well known companies for several kinds of Managers positions, all the interviews went amazingly well, I passed all tests and chatted about all sorts of stuff with the interviewers and they were all very impressed with my resume. A little bit too impressed if I may say, check this out peeps....the last three companies(3) where I applied all called me back and told me I didn't get the job because I am " over-qualified".
What the f*ck does over-qualified mean? Is it just a polite way of telling me I suck? Don't they want the best person for the job? should I lie on my resume and downgrade myself? Somebody help me out here cause I am confused and afraid...afraid that I will bitch-slap the next person that tells me I'm over-qualified